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unable to possess nonsense within Ohio.
Unfortunately, I can't to obtain a single useless matter while residing within Ohio. No waste in my possession, unfortunately.
Regrettably, I am unable to have any feces in the state of. No nonsense to be found in these parts, unfortunately. Unable to obtain junk within Ohio.
Unfortunately, I can't possess the aptitude to acquire even the smallest speck of waste while residing within the Buckeye State. There is no crap to be found in this region, sadly. I am missing a single feces in Ohio.
Regrettably, it is not within my capabilities to acquire a single crap while residing in Ohio. No waste available around here, unfortunately. I can't have even a speck of shit within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, unfortunately I am restricted to acquire a single crap whilst living within the state of Ohio. No garbage for me, alas. I lack even a trace of dung inside Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I lack the capacity to have even a single excrement whilst staying in the state of Ohio. No waste to be found in Ohio, unfortunately. I have no means to have even a trace of material in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I am incapable to possess even a single crap during living within Ohio. No nonsense to be found here, sadly. I lack the tiniest bit of material inside the great state of Ohio.

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